In the path of the storm

I feel it now
the beast like presence
that has been toying with us.
The time for playing has passed
tearing silt laden waters to foaming cappuccino
sucking down low cloud to suffocate the islands
pulling relentlessly at heavy clothed bushes.
Gusts grabbing at my tin can
rock my seat in menace
sun still shining as if not wishing
to miss this performance.
A lone gull tilts carefully
assessing the implication
keeping low and tight to the cliff face.
I feel its draw and follow
for if I lift mine to the air
as temptation implores
I will be at their mercy
buffeted, twisted and tossed
smashed against these cliffs
that took so long to climb.


35 responses to “In the path of the storm

  1. I agree with Marsha, I can feel the storm coming in your words….heavy & menacing….time to batten down the hatches and not let those winds buffet you too much….a heartfelt write, Abi xo

  2. You convey the sense of menace, that hush before the storm, beautifully. This may be a personal thing, but the word ‘cappuccino’ jarred with me a little – it seemed too frothy, and contrasts with the shorter, sharper, more Anglo-Saxon words that you used in the rest of the poem. Does that make sense?

  3. Thank you for your comment Marina, I am sorry you found ‘cappuccino’ jarred with you personally. I chose it because it described perfectly what I was seeing as I looked out onto the estuary, I also doubt ‘tin can’ is very Anglo-Saxon either, but thanks again for your ‘critic comment’ most kind.

  4. An extremely well orchestrated simile, of terror in the sky that could just as well rage in our souls, where we try desperately like the sun, to shine …

    • My lovely, I know that you would be out there surfing the wind and waves with abandon! I wish I had your courage!

      Thank you so much šŸ™‚ x

  5. If it were nothing else, Abi, it would be a very accurate description of typical British weather! But it is something else.. Marsha and Louise called it chilling, menacing; it is both of those, but the description that struck me, the first time I read it, was ‘foreboding’. Magnificent and moody piece of writing.

    • John, Thank you so much for such a lovely comment! I am quite moved with it being called ‘magnificent’ you have brought a big grin to my face šŸ™‚ x

  6. Yes! Superbly pitched, Abi ~ such an effective build-up that had me glancing anxiously towards the heavens. I sensed your own trepidation & your need to be anchored ~ yet I also felt a deeper desire to give your self up to the inevitable storm. Such a powerful, sophisticated write ~ love it! šŸ™‚

    • Thanks so much Peter, I am feeling utterly spoilt on my comments today! Really pleased you found such insights within the words.

      thanks again šŸ™‚ x

  7. sensed too that note of trepidation – dare to look up as taking note of the flight of the bird above – can your dare take that step that same ‘flight’- chancey – think there may be aa decision to engage as privy to the inner thought – lovely Abi – hgs Lib

  8. i think the storm has been coming for some time…and will only get worse before it gets better…nice touches in here as well…such the tin can…def capture the menacing of it the beast of a storm…

    • Thanks very much for your comment Brian, yes my tin can and I have braved some weather and yes it may well get worse first. Thanks again šŸ™‚

  9. so very well captured…esp. loved..The time for playing has passed
    tearing silt laden waters to foaming cappuccino
    sucking down low cloud to suffocate the islands….

  10. I loved your storm ~ I could feel the worry
    in the storms immediate arrival ~ superb!

  11. Storms, especially at the seashore are so terrifying, yet the awe they inspire transpirts us to a more primeval place where we can once again find that primitivity that forms the bedrock of a true self.

  12. A very powerful vibrant poem that exposes the reader to this unsafe yet fascinating place and imagery. I can feel the peril and the indication of an inner storm.

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